But jokes

Why are the Twin Towers mad?

They ordered burgers, but what they got was plane.

An orphan walked up to a baseball field, but a security guard said he couldn't come in because it was a home game.

I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.

I have an addiction to cheddar cheese, but it's only mild.

I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.

"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"

"He died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."

(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"

Chrome turns you into chrome, but there is a chrome back bling, and it does nothing to you.

Why were the Twin Towers mad?

They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.

My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!

My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.

The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five, but the tree left him hanging.

You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.

The youngest of the Twin Towers said, "Goodbye, brotha." But the one who got hit, which is the oldest, said, "If I go down, you go with me!"

What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.

We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.

But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.

The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."

The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."

I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.

For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.

But that’s just me in a nutshell.

When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:

Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.