But jokes

I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.

I know this isn't an orphan joke, but I didn't know where to say it, so yeah.

I threw a nut at the allergy table and screamed, "YES, TRIPLE KILL!"

An orphan walked up to a baseball field, but a security guard said he couldn't come in because it was a home game.

The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.

I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.

You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.

How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."

Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.

I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.

"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"

"He died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."

(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"

Chrome turns you into chrome, but there is a chrome back bling, and it does nothing to you.

The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but they only got the plane.

This ain't a joke, but the Twin Towers said their favorite number is 911.

When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.

But you know you live alone.

When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...

I'd make a joke about epilepsy, but the computer started flashing.

I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!

I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......

Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 9.

Wilt Chamberlain may have spread his seed among many women, but Kobe spread his brain matter all over California.