But jokes

Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.

Orphan: But why?

Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.

I'd make a joke about epilepsy, but the computer started flashing.

What can you catch but not throw?

A cold!

I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.

And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.

Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.

One day, I was walking down the street, and then I saw something really funny, and then I ran, and I saw a boomer, but I don't really know what I'm talking about, lol.

It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.

I would say a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't land well.

I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.

Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.

I can cry, but I don't have eyes. I can fly, but I don't have wings. Who am I?

A cloud.

Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"

What has 2 arms but no legs?

A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.

Yo mama so fat that State Farm tried to get on her side but couldn’t.

I added Paul Walker on Xbox...

But he spends all his time on the dashboard.

Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?

Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”

How are Black people like communism?

Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.

I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.

I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.

- Sometimes I feel like killing myself...

- But?

- ...