But jokes

A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."

The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...

But a creeper blows it up.

This is not really a joke, but it's a question.

If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?

Me and my friend roasting each other.

Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.

Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.

I would invite you to play baseball, but there's no home for you to run to.

The extra detention didn't do much, but the extra chromosome definitely did.

I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.

I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.

An Emo walked up to a tree and put his hand up for a high-five.

But the tree left him hanging.

My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.

I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.

Tried making jokes about 9/11, but it just kept falling apart.

My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.

The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but they only got the plane.

When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.

Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.

You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.

How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."

I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.

"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"

"He died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."

(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"