But jokes

When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:

Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, I didn’t laugh, but the floor cracked up.

There was a girl called Millie, and she had sexy blond hair, and she wanted to chase me, but I told her she had to catch me first if she loves me.

Logan Taub has a BBC, Big Butt Chin!

What comes in and comes out, but you should never miss it?

Any ideas?

SHIT!!!!

The Emo kid wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.

I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but y'all couldn't mandle it.

I was sitting in class, and the teacher said he wasn't disappointed in me and my best friend, but not so much in me.

I looked at my best friend and said, "I'm a disappointment to the teacher, too."

The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun, but the emo kid disappears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.

For my birthday on September 11th this year, I just want a plane, but delicious, chocolate cake.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

I don't know, but the Twin Towers do.

I made a website for orphans, but it did not have a home page.

Yo momma is so fat, when she fell I was not laughing, but the sidewalk cracked up.

I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.

When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:

We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.

But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.

The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."

The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."

For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.

But that’s just me in a nutshell.

I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.

Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.