But jokes

Trump wants people to think he's a great golfer. But the only handicap he has is a mental one.

I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.

I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.

Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.

I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.

So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.

A: What did the podiatrist say to the double amputee?

Q: Sorry, but I can't help you.

"The legend says Tinker Bell was good in jerkin' off Peter with her tiny fingers, but it pains me to think that Captain Hook was a closeted-sadist boyfriend."

I wasn't going to tell another rape joke but fuck it.

I told the last person I slept with I was pregnant. He freaked the fuck out but calmed down after he realized it was April Fools'.

The look on my cousin's face was hilarious.

I know Marie Antoinette jokes aren't funny, but they're nothing to lose your head over.

Jokes about Marie Antoinette aren't funny, but that's no reason to lose your head.

I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?

You're really special.

But the R in special is silent.

I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.

I wanted to fuck my mom, but she replied, "My pussy only belongs to your dad." That's why I had to fuck her in the a$$!

I'd tell a Luigi joke, but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.

Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”

Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”

Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”

Thanks Ethan for all you've done. We've both made mistakes when all is said and done, but just thanks for being a good friend. This is officially my last post on here, Ethan-Real 1.

Everyone becomes happy when they complete the last stage of the game.

But the cancer patients aren't.

Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.

I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.