But jokes
"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.
Well, I was gonna make a joke about drunk people, but that would be good for the health.
I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.
"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up.
We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.
I'm not counting, but I have some fingers for you.
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
I told my mom, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" She said yes. I said, "You are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." My mom said, "No, I'm not," but I told my mom, "I'm going to need your assistance." First, I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attached to me, which she did. The next minute my mom has a cream pie over her face. Then I told my mom, "You see, you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." Then my mom said, "When you are right, you are right."
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but they always crash and burn.
You look good with anything, but nothing works too.
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
An ugly, poor teenage girl found a genie lamp in her backyard. The genie said, "I will grant you 3 wishes, but under 1 condition."
"What is it?" she asked.
"After I grant your final wish, you have to have sex with me," the genie replied.
"Okay, for my 1st wish, I wish to be the prettiest girl at my school," the genie snapped his fingers and made her pretty.
"For my 2nd wish, I wish for my family to be rich," the genie snapped his fingers and told her her family is now the richest in town.
"And your final wish?" the genie asked.
"I wish I had a sabertoothed vagina."
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.