Building jokes

Bully: Who you looking at?

Me: A Build-A-Bear.

Bully: Where?

Me: Look in the mirror.

You're so short that you don't have to open the front door to get inside the house.

If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.

Two air vents walked into a bar.

The third one ducted.

I was doing some karate the other day at the studio.

They kicked me out because I was doing “kungi fui.”

Could a parking garage also be called a broom closet?

What is the Twin Towers' least favorite song? "I'm Still Standing."

A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs.

"For the last time, Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!"

The man with glasses frowns.

"Where did all the others go, then?"

The second twin tower is like Canada. It doesn’t exist.

What is the difference between a tree house for dinner, and dinner with you today after school?

A little boy went to church. The priest said, "Get in the following positions: stand, then kneel, then bow." The little boy replies, "Can you hurry up and f**k me already?"

My brother and I were roughhousing and accidentally knocked over our bookshelf. My mom came in and started asking who knocked it over, to which I replied that I only had my shelf to blame.

Hey, can I axe you a question?

My brother likes to build "traps" to capture our cat so he can pet it. I said it wasn't gonna catch anyone, he replied with "not going to stop who?" I told him not to worry that it could capture any two.

Some people could say that the sky was falling that day,

one second they saw the sun and the next they saw heaven.

Why did the twin towers complain to the pizza restaurant?... Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and got plain.

What's the Twin Towers' favorite type of transport?

Planes.

What do terrorists do on 9/11? They have a game of Jenga.

I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.

My ceiling isn't the best... But it's up there!

My friend Amir didn’t have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building, so he had a much better flying record.

Who's the world's fastest reader?

9/11 victims. They went through 90 stories in 60 seconds.