Broke jokes

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Why did the skeleton die from laughter?

'Cause they broke all his "funny bones!"

I broke my ankles so hard I had to walk uphill both ways.

One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.

Gwen, I thought you would be with me if Prince broke up with you... :((((((

I broke the sink yesterday; the handle just blew right off! My dad was so mad, he blew his stack!

Yo mama so dumb, when her computer was asking for cookies, she grabbed a cookie, smashed it onto the screen, and broke the computer.

So I was sitting on my couch, watching this homophobic TV show all about "straight and great". But then I remember, "Aren't I part of the LGBTQ?"

So I say, "Oh my God, let's throw it out the window because that would be a good idea!" But then it gets run over by 123,456,789 cars. It gave me a $150,000 fine. Guess I'm broke.

Fat jokes and mom jokes😂

1. So fat when she sat on the toilet, she said, "A B C D E F G, get your fat ass off me."

2. So fat, your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss. He’d have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.

3. Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini, they all started yelling, "Godzilla, Godzilla."

4. Your mama’s so fat when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

5. Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale, it said "to be continued."

6. Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.

The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!

Yo momma so fat, her ankle broke and gravy poured out.

Hey, I broke up with your girl.

-Me: What? Why?

Wait, what?

-Me: You f**ked her, so it's your baby.

Jack and Jill went up to an abandoned house.

Jack drank too much and unzipped his fly. Jack said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "No." So Jack locked both of them in the house and put a gag in Jill's mouth, tied her to a bed. He ripped off her dress and underwear. He took off his pants and his underwear too, then put on a condom. He then put a pill in her mouth and made her swallow. One minute later she was asleep. He took off her gag and mounted himself on her, then stuck his "candystick" in her mouth, next her fanny. Then his condom broke, but he was too drunk to notice. Nine months later a baby's born and Jack's in jail as the father.

I broke up with my ex girlfriend. Here's her number.

Sike, that's the wrong number!

ooooooooooooooooooooo

My girlfriend broke up with me today, but it’s ok.

She said we can still be cousins.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"John."

"John who?"

John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.

Why did the man walk into a bar?

Because he just broke up and he needs alcohol, you dummy!

Why did the rapper go broke?

He kept dropping dimes.

My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.