Broke jokes
An Eskimo was holidaying in New Zealand and while driving his rented car around the countryside it broke down. A bloke passing by offered to help, lifted the bonnet and said, "I know your problem, you blew a seal."
The Eskimo with a shocked expression retorted, "Yeah? Well you fuck sheep!"
Stephen Hawking didn’t die. His charger broke.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.
My bully: Your face is ugly.
Me: Yeah well your mom is so fat she broke the stairway to heaven.
My bully: :(
Yo momma so fat, when she pulled out the chair, it screamed and broke itself.
The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
"Being broke is a disease, stay the fuck away from me."
After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park.
Lord: "Has something happened while I was gone?"
Gardener: "Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burying your dog."
Lord: "My dog died?!"
Gardener: "Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down."
Lord: "My mansion?! How?!"
Gardener: "Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains."
Lord: "Why was she so distraught?"
Gardener: "She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped."
Lord: "My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?!"
Gardener: "Oh right! Your cancer test results!"
My grandad broke his legs.
To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.
Your mum so fat, she broke the stairs down to the fridge.
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.
Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.
Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.
Stephen Hawking is as broke as his legs.
If I had a dollar for every time a rap hater made an intelligent statement, I’d be more broke than the rap haters.