My dick is longer than your life.
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?
Why?
'Cause I’m digging that ass.
Why did Annie fall from the swing?
Because she had no hands.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Annie.
Josh Dalton once ate his shoulder.
What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, he just WAVED.
Did you SEA what I did there?
GUY: Yes
Are you SHORE?
When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.
My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.
Why did Sarah fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
What's the difference between a pool and a toddler?
One doesn't scream when you go in dry ;)
Did you hear about the mad who got his whole left side cut off? He's all right now.
Penis.
What do you call a man with no legs?
Neil (kneel)
Timmy goes to the doctor and says, "There's a crack in my butt, doctor." Timmy, there is a crack in everyone's butt, see?
Some guy farts and says, "That was some asshole behind me."
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
Why did Stephanie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Not Stephanie!
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
