I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."
What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
Robetoe.
Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.
Why did the clown stop smiling?
Someone chopped his lips off.
What's the best part of having sex with a baby?
Deep throat and anal at the same time.
Mooning is very astrological!
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Greg fucking steals toes!
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?
Men toes.
