Blood Jokes

What's the difference between a porn star and a mosquito One stops sucking when you snack it

What's white, black, and red all over?

A zebra who walked into a hunting reserve.

I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.

What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?

They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched

My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like

My first football game was a lot like my first time having sex

I was bloody sore and but at least my dad came

What’s the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.

If trees were sentient, they would make their furniture out of bone, flesh, and blood Now ain't that cool?

Why did the priest buy a clown suit? Because the old one had blood all over it.

why cant vampires tell jokes right? all their jokes just SUCK

Two kids walked into a bar, they were covered with blood. the bartender asked what happened. The youngest said "Well, we we're trying to paint our basement but we threw the babies too hard".

Q: What's red during puberty?

A: The blood on my hands

what does a make a wish kid and mosquitoes have in common? They Both Got A 10% Survival Rate...

Jesus took bread and said: "This is my flesh!" Then he took wine and said: "This is my blood!" Then he took mayonnaise and Peter said: "Holy shit, now we gotta stop him!"

Why did the Nurse bring a read pen to work? To draw Blood Why did the M&M go to school? to be a smartie. Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? to be in highschool.

When the grass is bloody You play in the mud...

Roses are red, violets are blue; blood’s thicker than water, so yeah, I got you.

imagine a white van. now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombre on and his arm out the window and on the side of the van it says free candy. but there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back