What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he’s blood type “eh”? “Ah, probably just go with blood typo”

Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood. Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.

Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued your blood was delectable and so was the rest of you.

There was once a kid named Timmy. His father & mother went to bed one night and didn’t hear or see Timmy come with them. They all get under the covers Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood curdling scream. “MOMMY WATCH OUT THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!” And he proceeds to say, “DON’T WORRY MOMMY I’LL GET IT!” And he takes his fathers penis in his mouth and chomps down. Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.

Yo mama so fat, her blood type is mayonnaise.

What’s white, black, and red all over?

A zebra who walked into a hunting reserve.

Jack and jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy Jack got a surprise and blood shot eyes because jill gave him a roofie

Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?

None because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.

an obese kid farts

A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, “I thought you guys only drink blood?”

The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, “I’m making tea.”

What is a difference between a tree and walk home 🏡 night I did

Yo mama’s so fat her blood type is coca-cola

Two kids walked into a bar, they were covered with blood. the bartender asked what happened. The youngest said “Well, we we’re trying to paint our basement but we threw the babies too hard”.

God creates a mosquito :) God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly. Angel: okay… a bug. God: now give it’s face a sword, but it has a hole so it’s basically a mouth. Angel: weird… but okay… God: and give it wings. Angel: eh, not half bad Go- God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS Angel: shook o-okay God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out. Angel: .-. God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give ‘em a taste ‘o that! evil grin Angel: cries Angel: whispers; I’m so sorry…

Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand. Moments after I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.

Did you know all Canadians have the same blood type?

They all have blood “eh”

Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued your flesh was delectable & so was the rest of you.

There was a man he came home with his friends from the bar and man; was he ever wasted. Their friends made sure to get him home safely the next morning he woke up and found blood all over his night stand he called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.

Roses are red, my blood is too, And i’ve been seeing it alot more, since i’ve lost you

Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guys body they notice when they walk over he has a boner the first doctor decides why not fuck him he still has a boner left in him the 2nd says well he’s dead and I I’m a virgin the 3d one says I can’t I’m on my period and then says okey why not he already dead it’s not like he doesn’t smell bad after all that they go to walk out and the guy pops up and says thanks for saveing my life pumping blood back into my body…

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