*World war 2 going on and then stops* Me: I guess you vould say it was a gory-ious battle.
I watched a movie with a lot of ketchup on the ground. I don't know why my friends look disgusted.
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie ....... no one could tell that it was their blood
My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter
blood is red.bruses are blue i ferget the rest...um i hate you...?
If you turn the word racecar backwards it says racecar. But if you turn the racecar sideways you have Paul walkers blood on your hands
So little Johnny was waking to the bath room and he said grandma said why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help
Why do vampires drink blood? because they can't drink bloodly Marys because they are vampires
Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”
I have WWII in my blood since my great grandfather killed hitler.
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddybeer.
a little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks " whats that" the little boy says that's my little red race car. 10 minutes later the boy looks down and ask's whats that,the little girl says "that's my little red race car garage. so later that night the boy ask's the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage, She say yes and they pull down there pants and the boy try's putting his little red race car in her garage but it won't fit down stairs the mother hears an ear piercing scream and runs up stairs flips on the lights and see's blood on the floor the mother ask's "what happened the little girl say's "we tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit so i cut the back wheels off"
a man died with an erection. the three nurses in the morgue saw this the first nurse climbs on and rides him. the second nurse dose the same the third hesitates saying "i'm on my period." the others say its ok hes dead so she rides him to. when she's done he sits up and all the nurses ask how hes alive he replies i'm good to go after the two jumpstarts and blood transfusion
My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.
guess what song this is from:
I'LL CUT YOU INTO LITTLE BITTY PIECES
OR FREEZE YOU TILL YOUR BLOOD RUNS COLD
OR STAB YOUR TIL' YOU HEART STOPS PUMPING
I'M HERE TO REALIZE YOUR WISH FROM WHAT I'M TOLD
Jack and jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy Jack got a surprise and blood shot eyes because jill gave him a roofie
Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times?
He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.
How do you know when your sister is on her period? When your dad's cock tastes of blood.
What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after she was done licking her pussy after she was done having her blood period? I will be back next month
Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand. Moments after I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.
