Blind jokes
*in the hospital*
Paralyzed kid: I'm out!
*walks out the room*
Blind kid: You can walk?!
Mute kid: You can see?!
Deaf kid: You can talk?!
Doctor: Wut the f**k?
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.
When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
Kid: "What's dark humor?"
Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."
Kid: "I am blind, Mom."
Mom: "Exactly."
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
Why is the orange so blind? Because it needs to take Vitamin C!
You're so ugly you make the blind kids cry 😭😭
God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"
Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"
I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.
Why aren't blind people in Brazil?
Because they can only read Braille. 🇧🇷 🙄
I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.
Why don’t oranges 🍊 go around blind?
Because they take Vitamin See!
What do you call a blind photographer? A waste of money.
One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
I got home one day and a Spanish guy, white guy, black guy told me that your sister knows her meats.
She won a trophy. We blindfolded her, then my sister said, "Yeah, I was blindfolded, and I gave all three of them blowjobs and I had to guess which flavor of the meat it was."
The Trophy said Best Blowjobs. As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.