Blind jokes

Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?

They are always swinging a stick.

A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"

After work, I volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.

I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!

Why can't a blind person eat fish?

They can't see food.

I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any--let's just say I lost my job as a bus driver.

How do you punish a blind kid?

Move to a new house.

Last week was my blind friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need.

As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grater for a birthday present, he sets it next to him. As weeks pass, he comes up to me. He said, "That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I have ever read!"

Why did the blind kid drop his ice cream? He got run over by his mom.

How do you know a woman is blind?

Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.

What do you call a blind person driving a car?

Died.

How do you punish blind kids?

Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.

A blind guy shot up a town.

I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.

So this blind man was walking down the street with his stick, right? And he walked past this fish market, he took a deep breath and said, "WWOAAH GOODMORNING LADIES!"

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet... What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))

How do you punish a blind man?

Leave the plunger in the toilet.

Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He couldn't see that well.

What did the blind man fight in the bar?

The coat rack.

My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.

A blind person walks into a bar.

Because they can’t see where they are going.