Blind jokes
What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.
Why are you so tired if you can’t see? Because you are blind.
What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?
"What's up?"
Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly!
What did the blind man say on Christmas?
"I can feel your presents!"
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.
Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind.
Knock knock Who’s there? Not Sally.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she. Did you see that one coming? Neither did she.
(She's blind and deaf)
I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
What do you call a blind person on a date? A blind date.
A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.
I think she was pulling my leg.
What do you call a blind photographer? A waste of money.
Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight?
Sally's used to being blind!
I once told a blind orphan, "Hey, look at the bright side!"
I went up to the blind kid and punched him and said bet you didn't see that coming