Blind jokes

Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.

The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!

Why did the orange go blind? Because he was low on vitamin C.

So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.

A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."

I went up to the blind kid and punched him and said bet you didn't see that coming

"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"

"Cancer."

What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand?

"Hello Ladies!"

What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.

I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...

... the first two being politics and religion.

Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!

Mom: Exactly.

What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"

How did the blind girl get a date?

She said it was love at first sight.

Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.

There's a blind hooker in town.

She never sees anyone coming.

How do you know a woman is blind?

Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.

HAIKU JOKE:

Helen Keller could Fuck a blind man so hard that she Ends up with his child.

My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.

What does a blind man and your dick have in common?

They both can’t get up without a dog.

What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?

A grape chilli bean.

"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.

"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"

Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.