Blind jokes

What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?

Helen Killer.

If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"

Why are you so tired if you can’t see? Because you are blind.

You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.

Opposite day be like in doors.

Figure: Finally, I can see.

Eyes: Nnnnnoooo! I'm blind. Figure, I'm sorry I made fun of you all those other times. Please don't make fun of me.

Figure: Ok eye promise eye won't.

Eyes: 😭

What did the blind man say to his dog after eating dinner?

"Just ate a tasty steak!"

What does Hellen Keller call her dog?

"NAUSHFBUYGWF"

So, a blind man got run over by a car... a parked car.

Molly Burke and her mom were on a walk. Molly walked into a bar; her mom laughed and walked under it.

If your blind girlfriend says you have a big cock, she's probably just pulling your leg.

Bird Box.

What dog can’t see a dog that’s blind?

I told a blind kid, "See you later!"

What's the difference between a blind person and an orphan?

They both can't see their parents.

Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"

I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.

What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?

“What in the world did I just read?”

The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.

They called the song “Helen Keller.”

What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?

Fill her closet with see-through clothes.

An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind...

...but it will allow ugly people to get laid.