Blind jokes
Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.
Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
What does the blind, deaf child get for Christmas?
Cancer.
A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."
Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.
A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.
I don't have any now.
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
Helen Keller was a pilot in 9/11.
Why did the bone go on a blind date? He was bonely.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...
I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"
Why can’t blind people sing [if] that can’t hear because they can see the lyrics?
How do you make a blind girl smile? Leave the plunger in the toilet.
What do blind people take for granted? Sight.
If a CEO goes blind, are they just an EO?
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
What’s black and rings the doorbell?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.