Blind jokes

You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.

Why is the blind man so close to the door?

He can't see it.

A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick.

The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,

"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."

Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane, and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin.

The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,

"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second-best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."

At this point, the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more, and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed, and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!"

Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.

The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."

There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.

You walk inside a building, then you see a blind German, then you call him his name.

Answer: Nazi.

A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.

I don't have any now.

When God said, "Let there be light," he got blinded because you reflected it off your forehead.

Have you ever walked into Helen Keller’s house?

She has.

I spat on a blind kid and told him it was raining.

Why did the blind woman get raped?

Because she didn't know she was wearing see-through clothes.

"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.

"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"

Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.

I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.

A sister told her brother to walk to the store, buy some candy, and watch a movie with her while eating the candy.

But he couldn't walk because he has no legs. He couldn't buy candy because he has no arms. He couldn't watch a movie because he was blind, and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach. Who said he was real?

Son: Mom, what's dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Son: Mom, I’m blind.

Mom: Exactly.

Q: How do you blind a woman?

A: You put a windshield in front of her.

I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!

I gave a blind man a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.

So, a blind man got run over by a car... a parked car.

Why did the blind kid drop his ice cream? He got run over by his mom.

How did Helen Keller die?

Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.