Blind jokes
What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?
Fill her closet with see-through clothes.
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
Wanda and Daredevil have so much in common.
They both wear red, they're both in Marvel, and they both lost their Vision!
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind...
...but it will allow ugly people to get laid.
What does the blind man say when he walks past the fish market?
"Hello, ladies!"
Memes
What do blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Move to a new house.
What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?
Nothing.
You walk inside a building, then you see a blind German, then you call him his name.
Answer: Nazi.
Have you ever walked into Helen Keller’s house?
She has.
I spat on a blind kid and told him it was raining.
A blind man is going for a walk. Eventually, he reaches a fish market.
He yells, "Hello ladies!"
"I spy with my little eye..."
- Noting I am blind -
Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.
What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?
"Good Lord, this is fun!"
Why could the blind man not see?
Answer: Because he is blind.
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
Helen Keller was a pilot in 9/11.
This for you roman y e e e nt