Blind jokes
A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"
You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!
Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.
Sadly, he didn't see it coming.
Son: Daddy, what's dark humor?
Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap.
Son: But Daddy, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly.
OK, OK, eat your shirt.
Person 1: Omg, my blind boyfriend cheated on me.
Person 2: What did you expect? Him to see other hoes...
I was watching the news and heard a segment about a blind hooker who got stabbed 40 times.
At least she didn't see it coming.
HAIKU JOKE:
Helen Keller could Fuck a blind man so hard that she Ends up with his child.
One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.
Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.
Jon and Amanpreet were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest picking two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they got them correct, they’re deemed cured and free to go.
Jon was called into the doctor’s office first and asked if he understood that he’d be free if he answered the questions correctly. The doctor said, “Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?” Jon said, “I’d be half blind.” “That’s correct. What if I poked out both eyes?” “I’d be completely blind.” The doctor stood up, shook Jon’s hand, and told him he was free.
On Jon’s way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Jon mentioned the exam to Amanpreet. He told him what questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers. So Amanpreet came in. The doctor went thru the formalities and asked, “What would happen if I cut off one ear?” Amanpreet, remembering what Jon had said was the correct answer said, “I’d be half blind.” The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. “What if I cut off the other ear?” “I’d be completely blind,” Amanpreet answered. “Amanpreet, can you explain how you’d be *blind*?” “My hat would fall down over my eyes.”
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
Have you ever seen Helen Keller's dog?
Neither has she.
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
With a taste test.
How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?
Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.
Why can't the blind man see? Because he can't see.
Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"
What is a yellow dog Libertarian?
A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it! 🐕 🗽
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
How do you keep a blind person entertained? Give them a piece of sandpaper and tell them it’s a word.