Blind jokes

The doctor told me I'm color blind...

Me: That's out of the purple!

What did the blind kid get for his birthday?

I don't know, he still didn't look.

I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.

What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?

They both can't see their parents.

Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.

But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.

I wish I was blind.

A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."

How do you make a blind girl smile? Leave the plunger in the toilet.

Q: How do you blind a woman?

A: You put a windshield in front of her.

Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?

A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."

How does Hellen Keller meet men?

She goes on blind dates.

I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.

What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?

Helen Killer.

If a CEO goes blind, are they just an EO?

POV: I made a blind joke.

"That isn't funny. What if Helen Keller saw that?"

Why can't blind people eat crawfish? Because it's seafood!

If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"

Did you see that Chinese man with no legs?

No, I'm blind.

Stop ruining my jokes.

Isn't that the Chinese man with no legs' fault?

It's not like He Go Ann Hi Weh.

People call my blind friend dumb sometimes.

She can't see the obvious.