Bigness jokes
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common?
Their last big hit was "Fire on the Mountain."
Huggy Wuggy big big Huggy Wuggy big big big big Huggy Wuggy laugh laugh smooch smooch Huggy Wuggy *insert clapping noise*
How is sex like air?
It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mama.
Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Big tits.
Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?
Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.
My penis is big and long, what else is... my condom... cucumber.
What's the best thing about Switzerland? The flag is a big plus.
My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"
I said, "Are you going to punish me?"
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.
Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."
Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."
"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."
Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."
Your forehead is so big, I thought you were Megamind for a second there.
What’s big, red, and eats rocks?
A big, red, rock eater.
What goes in small and soft?
And comes out big and hard?
A tea bag.
Your forehead is so big that it could carry the passengers of the Titanic.
Yo forehead so big it makes Megamind's forehead small.
Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought he was your long lost sibling.
"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.