Bigness jokes

A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"

The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."

Yo mama so fat, when you married your sister, she was big enough to sit on the groom's side and the bride's side.

I like my couches like my women... Old, used, and big enough to fit 3 men.

A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?"

His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes."

The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?"

"His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking."

The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister."

The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father."

"No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."

Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.

The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."

She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"

Yo mama so fat, when she plays Undertale, Omega Flowey's mouth isn't big enough to eat her!

My penis is too big for my dad to suck it, so my mum sucks it instead.

Adopted kid: I made a big mistake!

Dad: You are one.

How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.

There's an old lady doing gardening every year. Nothing grows. She goes to the man who lives next door. She says, "How do you get your tomatoes so big and red?" He tells her, "You show them your privates at night time." So she leaves. That night later, she goes outside and shows the garden her privates. The next day she's got zucchinis a meter long!

Why do mountains get so big?

They have no natural predators.

I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.

101 pedo jokes.

Why's everything x2, need to get this shit dick off before the coppers come, it's called women taking advantage, you'll shit the bitcoin, 90% percent of pedo's who don't admit they're like kids blame the police, shit your kappas, you only want my veins why don't you inject me with smack, run in with ya black armbands, I've been sized for a million pound, stop giving me strain asking questions, I know what's going to happen next, bet the judge is a women, jealous coz your drink tastes like shit?

Is it coz your shit though? How many bids have you done? Shit 1 million views, don't try bribe me, did the police give me snip? How's my barbie doll or shall I say my little pony? The police beat fuck outta me, what's all these needle marks on my arm, I can tell you want something, why's everything like one big cycle, police own the dark web.

Keep it going on lol.

My girlfriend called me a pedophile... That's a big word for a 1st grader.

Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that... I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.

I wrote "my pen is big," but forgot to space "pen is."

Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?

Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.

Did you hear the pickle joke?

It's actually a really big dill.

I tried to take a fog machine, but I took the wrong one. Needless to say, it was a big mist-take.

Guys, I'm sorry about these bad puns. I should've kept my big Meowth shut.