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Bigness

Bigness jokes

Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.

Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.

The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"

One day I was just sitting around when my butthole began to grow larger. It grew and grew and began to engulf the other parts of my body until it swallowed them all. Now I am just a big butthole typing this. Please help me!

There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."

  • 6

    • Why did the Columbine High School basketball team lose the big game?

    Because they lost their two best shooters...

  • 3

    • God: (creating elephants) Make it big.

    Angel: How big?

    God: As big as my d--

    Angel: Whoa!

    God: Fine, 10 feet tall.

    Angel: That's big bu--

    God: Put a long thing on its face.

    A guy goes in to get some tests done. The doctor comes out and says, "I got good news and bad news." The guy says, "Ok, let's get the bad news out of the way." The doctor says, "The tests came back positive. You got two weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh My God!! Then what the hell is the good news?" Doctor says "You see that nurse over there, the one with the big tits? I'm screwin' her."

    A boy asked his dad: "Why didn’t you make love with my mom, Daddy?"

    Dad: "Because I’m gay."

    *Son started making out with his daddy and sucking his daddy’s big peepee.*

    Son: "W- Wait a minute. So how did I exist if you didn’t make love with my mom if you’re not straight?"

    Dad: "Because you are not real, and I didn’t even have a wife."

    The son woke up from his horrible nightmare, and he looked so scared. He did leave his bed to check out his dad, but he didn’t find his dad, until his dad entered the house, and he said to his son: "Why did you look so worried? I’m just bringing some food for breakfast."

    Son: "Well, but why are your hands full of cum ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ?"

    Dad: "Because I did it with you last night. Did you forget?"

    Son: "But it was a nightmare..."

    *Dad turns into a monster*

    Dad: "I’m your nightmare!"

    The son woke up, and he seemed too scared, and he found himself beside his dad torturing him after he discovered he’s gay.

    The son with himself: "Wake up, b*tch, wake up, b*tch!!!!!!"

    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.

  • 1

    • I walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by himself. He looked like he needed a hand, so I offered to help.

    He said, "This is not a big screen TV, it's a Kindle!!"

    Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.

    When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”

  • 3

    • At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.

    Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”

    Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”

    A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"

    The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."

    Yo mama so fat, when you married your sister, she was big enough to sit on the groom's side and the bride's side.

    A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?"

    His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes."

    The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?"

    "His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking."

    The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister."

    The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father."

    "No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."

    Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.

    The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."

    She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"