Bigness jokes
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.
I tried to take a fog machine, but I took the wrong one. Needless to say, it was a big mist-take.
Guys, I'm sorry about these bad puns. I should've kept my big Meowth shut.
My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. I asked her why. She said, "Because you're a pedophile." I replied, "Pedophile! That's a big word for an eight year old."
Guy spills milk on me. I say, "It's okay, we all make mistakes sometimes, but apparently your mom made a big one."
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke."
What did your mom get for Christmas?
A big black horse dildo.
What's Damo's favorite food?
Big slongs.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how big they are and how hard you throw them.
Why do ballerinas wear tutus?
The one-ones are too small and the three-threes are too big.
What’s big, red, and eats rocks?
A big, red, rock eater.
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
A very rich and famous comedian walked into a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him: - "This vodka isn't good enough for you." - "If it is good enough for you it is good enough for me!"
Bigfoot is just a normal person who covered himself in Pritt Stick and went down on Susan Boyle.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That's a big word for a seven year old.
Man's got that big bati, you know.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? -- Well, the flag is a big plus.
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."