Beverage jokes
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
Why does NASA only serve Coke?
Because they can't get Seven-Up!
What type of tea do you drink with the Queen of England?
Royal-tea.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reali-tea.
I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.
What do you call a coffee without water? Africano.
Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce.
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
What is an orphan's favorite beer?
Fosters.
My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"
Why do gay men hate periods?
They prefer Collins.
What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature?
Tequila Mockingbird.
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
Sparkling water was invented by Germans. Who else would add gas?
Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing!
Why does the orphan drink hot coco with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk.