Beverage jokes
Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can?
Good thing it was a "soft" drink!
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
Why does NASA only serve Coke?
Because they can't get Seven-Up!
What type of tea do you drink with the Queen of England?
Royal-tea.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reali-tea.
I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.
How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
About one third less than for a regular bulb.
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
Why do gay men hate periods?
They prefer Collins.
What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature?
Tequila Mockingbird.
Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce.
Sparkling water was invented by Germans. Who else would add gas?
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
Why do people drink Starbucks? Because it's too hot to handle!
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"
What is an orphan's favorite beer?
Fosters.
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
Why does the orphan drink hot coco with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk.