Beverage jokes

I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.

My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.

I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.

What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"

I am in trouble. My mum asked me to get six cans of Sprite.

But I got seven Up.

Pass me the sugar, Sugar!

Pass me the honey, Honey!

Pass me the teabag!

What type of doctor is Doctor Pepper?

A fizzician.

James Bond: Vodka martini.

Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.

James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?

Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing!

Do orphans eat cereal with water?

Their dad did not come back with the milk.

What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.

What did the grape say when the fox stepped on it?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"

And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."

Why does the orphan drink hot coco with water?

Because his dad never came back with the milk.

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”

What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.

What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.

Why do gay men hate periods?

They prefer Collins.

Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce.

What do you call a coffee without water? Africano.

Sparkling water was invented by Germans. Who else would add gas?