Beverage jokes
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
What did the grape say when the fox stepped on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."
My Bff: Hey do want any coffee?
Me: Yeh, of course.
My Bff: Ok which one?
Me: You know... the black one.
Me: Like my soul...
My Bff: Jeez you ok?
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
Yo mama so stupid... she stared at an orange juice carton because it said, "CONCENTRATE!"
I like my coffee the way I like jokes about my coffee, I don't.
How does Daveon like his coffee? Decaf-eon.
What do you give a sick lemon?
Lemon-aid.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.
The udder day I drank milk.
It was udderly delicious!
The only doctor you have is Doctor Pepper.
Why do vampires drink blood?
Because they can't drink Bloody Marys because they are vampires.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despesso.
The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.
Have you ever heard of horchata? Horchata, fuck up!
I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal.
I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said, "Well, when life gives you lemons!"
What goes in small and soft?
And comes out big and hard?
A tea bag.