Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.
He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.
What's black and never works?
Decaffeinated coffee, you racist bastard!
What did the cookie say to the milk?
What’s up duud?
Steven hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says... WAITTTT WHATTT
TIL Ariana Grande is actually a pop singer.
I thought it was a fancy coffee for white supremacists.
Dmitri! Where's my vodka?
What’s an orphan’s least favorite beverage? Milk.
I went to Starbucks today and they asked what I wanted, and I replied with "to die, a shot of bleach, and an deppresso expresso."
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
A mushroom walked into a pub.
He asked the bartender to give him a beer.
The bartender said, "I can't, you'll get too rowdy."
The mushroom then said, "Oh come on! When I drink, I'm a fun guy!"
Q: What do American beer and canoes have in common?
A: Fu@king close to water!
Why does NASA only serve Coke?
Because they can't get Seven-Up!
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reali-tea
I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.
A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
Why do gay men hate periods?
They prefer Collins.
Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce.
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
Pass me the sugar, Sugar!
Pass me the honey, Honey!
Pass me the teabag!
A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"
And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."
