Beverage jokes
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
Do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
Why does the orphan drink hot coco with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk.
I am in trouble. My mum asked me to get six cans of Sprite.
But I got seven Up.
Pass me the sugar, Sugar!
Pass me the honey, Honey!
Pass me the teabag!
Memes
What type of doctor is Doctor Pepper?
A fizzician.
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce.
What do you call a coffee without water? Africano.
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
How do you call a sad coffee? A depresso!
What did the orphan say to his dad last?
Please get non-fat milk!
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.
What was King Tut's favorite coffee?
De-coffin-ated.
Hello Miss Chandia, here. I want to tell you guys a joke.
What do jokes serve for dessert?