Beverage jokes
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
What do you call a coffee without water? Africano.
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
What is an orphan's favorite beer?
Fosters.
Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce.
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
Sparkling water was invented by Germans. Who else would add gas?
My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.
Why do gay men hate periods?
They prefer Collins.
What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature?
Tequila Mockingbird.
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"
Why do people drink Starbucks? Because it's too hot to handle!
How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
About one third less than for a regular bulb.
What did the orphan say to his dad last?
Please get non-fat milk!
How do you call a sad coffee? A depresso!
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.
A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"