Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
What is an orphan's favorite beer?
Fosters.
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
Why do people drink Starbucks? Because it's too hot to handle!
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature?
Tequila Mockingbird.
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.
How do you call a sad coffee? A depresso!
What did the orphan say to his dad last?
Please get non-fat milk!
A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"
Hello Miss Chandia, here. I want to tell you guys a joke.
What do jokes serve for dessert?
What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
My hips can't move, but Heineken.
What was King Tut's favorite coffee?
De-coffin-ated.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
What is a superhero’s 🦸♀️ favorite drink?
Fruit punch!
