What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.
I like my women like I like my coffee: nice, fresh, and dead.
What is an army member's top drink?
WARter.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Big tits.
I like my girls like my coffee: Flat and white.
If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
What's a boxer's favorite drink? A punch. 🥤🥤
A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."
A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.
My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.
Chuck Norris orders his coffee black, without water.
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
A hand of Pepsi murdered a Coca Cola. An innocent Sprite yelled, "Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!"
Eventually, a 7-Up called Dr. Pepper. The Coca Cola was fine.
What goes in small and soft And comes out big and hard A tea bag
The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!
