Better jokes

What is one thing that a physicality handicapped gay man can do better than a heterosexual female or a bisexual female that are not born physicality handicapped? Know how to perform fellatio on a man that has a very long and thick and very large dick.

Why are washers better than babies?

Washers don't cry when you put a load in them.

This isn't a joke, but in some countries, children eat their shit for better digestion when constipated.

Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.

You’re like a fine wine. The more of you I drink in, the better I feel.

Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?

Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.

My friend Joe was a great hunter. He always shot like 3 deer every week.

He was even better at school when he bagged 30 of them.

You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.

Two girls have a sleepover.

Karen: Let's go to bed.

Lauren: Fine, but it's early.

*Karen wakes up and exits room*

*Lauren hears noise*

Mikey: You're so much better than my girlfriend, Karen.

Lauren: *laughs*

Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother, Mikey*

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.

What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).

Why do Chinese people need glasses to see better?

All they need to do is open their eyes.

What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?

Stopping it with a shovel.

My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?

Just give him a smooch it’s better than the cooch - Dream

I found a child on the street homeless, and they were really nice, so I took them home. Then I said, "Who's better, Biden or Trump?" They said they support Trump. They are now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years.

The Schönes restaurant has a great atmosphere. Order a counter and pay Tari, or Eich super made sure food and drinks stayed upright.

The historic gastronomy of the Hochspreizener, however, is even better. The lasagna is delicious and the rest will be waiting for you for days. Microwave effect. War is great.

This company is not cheap and the methods are excellent.

Masturbation is better than rough sex.