Better jokes
What does a doctor do to make you better?
Helium.
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
Even the World Trade Center underwent a better upgrade than your ugly ass.
What’s better than Ted Danson?
Ted singing and Danson!
Fe fi foung better run and hide: Covid (really).
Memes
It works, my brother has never slept better
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
I did a walk today, but it was so much better, and a walk home. I had dinner. Night was good fun at home. Night was good night. I was a little off, but you were so fun to be a night.
You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.
Who is better than Alabama?
CLEMSON TIGERS!
Is your oven running?
Then you better go catch it!
Okay, roses are red, violets are blue, Barney looks better than you.
Is your refrigerator running? "Yeah, I guess." Well, you better go catch it! Haha, I'm a girl, it's funny!
Masturbation is better than rough sex.
Life is better without my dad annoying me (him smacking me, screaming for something useless, limiting my screen time, and much more).
What do asses and secrets have in common?
Both are better when not leaked!
I bet when you take a bath, they give you the whole pool. No, better yet, the ocean!
The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!
The unicorn was so much better, and I love it!
Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?
Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!
Yo mama so ugly, we all are trying to help her look better.