Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with Cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The non stop dancer". It is very funny but it is made even funnier by Dudley moors, drunken and stoned laughter through the song. One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio but they are adlibbing and extremely drunk.
Hillary Clinton is elected president, . . .
and on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that." The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
A sad guy called "nun" is crying next to the grave of his best friend called "month" , "month" got killed by a gay guy and after that "nun" got homophobic.
While "nun" 's sitting next to "month" 's grave he heard a guy asks his friend : 《Do You Wanna Play A Game On ? 》 , "Nun" get angry and he asks that guy : 《 What did you just said to your friend ? 》 , the guy answers : 《 A game on , why ? 》
"Nun" kills the two guys .
🤔
I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.
My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.
You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.
I'll shut up now.
Dear Gwen u are not a faker nor Lier nor loser! And the people that are brothering u are just dumb, stupid, bored, and need to get a fricking life instead! Don't hurt ur self because of these comments tbh ur really nice, kind, and mannred! Their are more kind people then mean people and I am one of them! Just live ur life and Ignore Liv and unknown guy which is named Greg! No need for all this drama! Best. Tenya Bailey.
Setting: Funeral Home
Customer: Yes I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation but I feel that's silly to ask.
Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over hear at a discounted 75 percent off. Customer: Okay? What's the catch. That's almost 300 dollars off?
Funeral Director: I assure you these are top of the line urns and will keep your loved ones remains secure and dry. Customer: Okay?
Funeral Director: Yep these have only been used once so it's is absolutely worth the purchase.
By: MiniMemorials.com
Hey guys! It's Triple G you can give me more ideas on jokes, mainly Fish and Sea jokes as those are the jokes I specialise and only do best on the comment section below. Please do feel free to thumbs down and comment on improvements as well as thumbsing up and saying what you liked! :)
Au revouir, GGG
As a older brother I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room I see my sister giving married me blow jobs. I ask what are you doing the married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you tole me to do your best and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother I couldn't be more prouder.
Food makes are proudly presenting human flesh made foods donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives T and C apply this is only in the best shops in your town or down the road or in your country 1 like = 1 family member donated cos we're saving lives😎😎
I went home to & I saw my friend kissing my sister I say what’s going on. They both told me that they’re going out with each other. I said alright. The next morning I see my friend kissing my mom I said what going here. They both told me they’re going out with each other. Then my friend said to me I gave you 3 gifts. 1 gift I’m your best friend. 2 gift I’m your new brother n law. 3 gift I’m your new stepfather. I felt so happy I had a friend that looking out for me.
One day I was going home, and 7 married men came to me and said you should be proud of your sister. I ask why they told me it was the best that they ever had and we got your sister a trophy. So I went home my sister said look at my trophy I earned. The trophy said The Best Blow Jobs. As a bro I couldn’t be more prouder.
What is the best type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
Things said by racist aliens:
"Some of my best friends are Green." "I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship." "You're very pretty for a Purple girl." "We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!" "Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people." "You 2-headed people are so stupid!" "No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes." "Get out of my store you grigger!" "The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"
