Bell jokes

What does an Asian doorbell sound like?

"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"

What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?

KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.

Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.

What do you call a door that bells? A doorbell.

What does the door say to the doorbell?

The door said: "You dingus!"

The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."

The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."

What did Ronnie have at Taco Bell?

A mind-blowing bean burrito.

Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a "no bell" prize.

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don’t work.

Me after Taco Bell, "I’m about to blow this place up like September 11."

Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?

Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund, so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash, so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good, so he started selling it to Taco Bell, then ate a cow. All the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then gave them some toe jam. They loved it, so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam. It was so good, then one of the aliens ate there dog, so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater, and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.

Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.

Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.

Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?

Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?

I ate Taco Bell last night. I pooped out your hairline.

Twin monks who ring the church bells died.

Now they are dead ringers. :)

Me after Taco Bell: Go to: [link to image of broken toilet]

Did you hear about the guy who made knock-knock jokes? He won the Nobel Prize.

What did the people who cracked the Liberty Bell get for breaking it?

The no-bell prize.

Taco Bell makes you crappy.

I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!

Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL!

I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!

I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:

1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails.

I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear.