Why can't orphans convert to Catholicism? Because Catholics believe in no sex before marriage.
Hey guys, its Hailey here.
Ima start off with henlo ;-;
I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.
So, Jake. We can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.
Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.
I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.
Also, You won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;
Why do gay men and lesbians believe that bisexual men don't exist because there is no such thing as male bisexuality Because it doesn't cycle đ˛
My mom loved taking pics of me when I was a child...thanks to that people really believe my fake smiles! :3
Can you believe they're still together after everything they've been through??
who you might ask...
YOUR ASS CHEEKS
If you believe in allah you will go strait to heaven mashallah đ
I did not believe in covid 19 until I saw your teeth social distancing
my two moods are âi canât believe i get to be a personâ and âi canât believe i have to be a personâ
Did you hear theyâre making an Elmo toy to appeal to the Touretteâs crowd? I believe itâs called the âTic Me Elmo.â
How do you stop a school soother from killing you? Tell him you donât believe in dog
Q: Why doesnât Jimmy Swagget worry about his premature ejaculation problem
A: he believes in the second cumming
"You gave me the same sweater as last year."
"You s w e a t e r believe it."
A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably. Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."
Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"
Demon: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it."
Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"
Guy: "Golly"
Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."
Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."
Guy: "Wow."
Demon: "You like to do drugs?"
Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."
Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"
Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"
Demon: "You gay?"
Guy: "Uh, no."
Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."
You might be innocent but if you carry a large sum of cash in public the cops wonât believe that
So I was watching YouTube and then my Friend says âThose videos never get oldâ and I replied âJust like a Make-A-Wish kidâ and after I said that he shot me in the head and said âAnd now neither do you.â And now Iâm in heaven and God says to me âWelcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies and I said âAre there summer womenâ and now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe heâs a hero. After he killed Hitler
Why is Santa đ make believe? Because he is fake
So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?". The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass", it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy", it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster", it'll go faster, "harder", it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.
After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hostpital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.
I asked my now ex boyfriend why heâs scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesnât scratch, but he didnât believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat so yeah đ)
