Believing

Believing jokes

Robbery

    • Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

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    • Job

    • Neona (😟): I bet you I'm not going to get that job at all!

    Gwen (😌): Yeah well, I believe in you.

    Neona (😔): You got the job, and am I still waiting for them to call me and remind me that I will, but I won't get it. Anyway, I need to prepare for a job that I won't get.

    Gwen (😠): Neona, you just don't got enough confidence. You got to have confidence in life. I know you will get the job. I do now. Just believe instead of giving up!

    Neona (😞): UGH fine!!!

    Gwen (😉): I'll see you at that job interview!!!! Put a smile on your face, too!

    Neona (😊): Okay...Gwen, you're the best!

    Sally

    • When Sally was little, she came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, I can't believe it! Little John collects Pimmel at school."

    Mom: "No?"

    "Like in heaven?" said the mother.

    "No, juice," Sally said.

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    • Toy

    • Did you hear they’re making an Elmo toy to appeal to the Tourette’s crowd?

    I believe it’s called the “Tic Me Elmo.”

    Generation

    • The humor of this generation of kids shouldn't be called 'brain rot'; it should be called 'brain rape.' I believe most people of this generation that aren't 5-year-olds could agree with me, but my mind and thoughts have been violated by the things that kids these days find funny and entertaining. #SKIBIDDI

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    • Believing memes

    Article

    • Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

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    • Cat

    • Kat, what? I did. A cat jump over the road because he believes he came flying in the clouds. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah! So funniest kitten kitten kitten kidding is my last time of Do you Joooooooooooooooooooooookin?

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    • Interview

    • (BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)

    MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?

    BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!

    MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?

    BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!

    MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?

    BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.

    MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.

    BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!

    (MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)

    MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!

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    • Minecraft

    • Minecraft YouTube, but I can sing Believer!

    YouTube, but I'm making a first video in YouTube.

    And I record all the Minecraft videos and upload.

    Ooohh! To try it and upload. Ooohh!

    I've been recorded to streaming, couple more sleeps to do the dreaming.

    I finally get to the stronghold, and if you told me, you told me, you told me, you told me.

    Place some more ender eyes, and it's time to big surprise.

    It's time to kill the ender dragon, go into the...

    END!

    Take that crystal, take that crystal, Believer, Believer!

    Knock him down, knock him down, Believer, Believer!

    Axe it's head, axe it's head.

    Axe it's head, defeat him.

    SUBSCRIBE!!!

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    • Penaldo

    • I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!

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