If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped.
Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.
God, I love telling children their parents love them, but only on April Fools'. They're orphans, after all.
Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?
Computers don’t really have a specific religion.
My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room?"
"Islam it is."
God said, “Let there be light,” so it beamed off your forehead, and so I turned into Stevie Wonder and called it night.
Yo mama so ugly, when she go to church they say it's a demon!
1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.
Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?
She said a monster attacked her.
God, aka Mr. Universe said he was God's gift to this earth, but where is he?
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi? Because they can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
What did Satin say to God??
"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"
Why can't orphans convert to Catholicism?
Because Catholics believe in no sex before marriage.
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into 2 skyscrapers.
If you argued that God was a woman, 49.8% of the US population would try and raise Hell.
Just to ask the other guy.
Talk about a male supremacist religion.
I would curse at you, but my country praises cows.
You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
Bible Verse of The Day - For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.
—Romans 8:15-16
Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.
Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.
Jesus told the world if he had to pick a body all over again that he would pick himself! He believes he is (God's gift to this earth) the best looking, the smartest, pure perfection!
Hahaha LOL Jajaj.
And I Quote! "THAT'S WHY I PUT MYSELF NAKED ON THE CROSS IN CHURCHES TO SEE MY BODY !!!!"
GROSSEST, SCAREST, UGLIST, SLOPPY, DISRESPECTFUL, DISGUSTING, IT.
If he actually ate the bullshit that came out of his mouth, He wouldn't have made up satan! He wouldn't Rape us, He wouldn't embody us! He wouldn't try to be us! USING OUF VOICES! USING OUR SPIRIT!
