Why do orphans like to go to church?
Because they actually have a father there.
What is another name 🤔 for Holy water 💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧 💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧 🚽 toilet water.
P.l.a.n.e.
Precious lord, are nonbelievers evil?
Jesus shows up and says you’ve got to go to church. You follow him in and under their breath it sounds like somebody says you steal and you say in your mind knowing you have before I’m sorry then somebody caughs and under their breath it sounds like they say again you steal so you whisper quietly I’m sorry... ...then somebody in German says shoot that son of a bitch
Why do heterosexual men and heterosexual women believe that bisexual men don't exist because male bisexuality doesn't exist? Because it doesn't cycle 🚲.
I used to think that Jewish people were a myth.
But one day I realized, they Israel.
What is meals on wheels to a Christian nationalist that is also a conservative Republican politician, a gay man in a wheelchair that is poor and also physically handicapped, and who is also well-endowed?
When Ariana Grande walked into the church, she said, "GOD IS A WOMAN!"
What does B.I.B.L.E. stand for?
Bull Shit In Book Lacking Evidence.
Does it cycle now?
Hello, this is Godlygirl26. I want to help people with their problems no matter what. There is nothing that God cannot do. I want y'all to know that God is with you, not any of those stone or wood "gods" but a true, loving, powerful God. DM this right here and I will answer. Hope I can help you! Love, Godlygirl26.
So a mom went to her kid and said "If you pray to god, he will give you your sight back" so he did exactly that The next morning the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kids room and asked "whats wrong" the kid replied it didn't work" The mom said "April Fools"
Normal person: "I'm perfect!"
Goth person: "Nobody is."
Stephen Hawking said there is no god. God said there is no Stephen Hawking
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Today was like every other day It was so terribly long and so terribly dreary I fear these feelings will never end I’ll always feel so dark feel so hopeless Sometimes all I want is for it to end For all of it to end for all of my thoughts to end I despise the way that always comes to mind But I feel so lost feel so hopeless If something would just work But nothing has worked Nothing can fix this These feelings will pass. These days won't feel so endless... or so absolutely heavy. Just give it some time. Just give it some hope.... and some belief. The ‘happy pills’ will work. The doctor says they'll help... they'll help it go away. Just dump the pill in your hand. Let yourself place the little white thing on your tongue... Let yourself throw your head back and swallow. It'll make this better. It should make me feel better. Everything has changed! The world is so bright— The world is so loud! I don’t know how I never noticed! The sun is so warm— The grass is so green I feel so awake! I feel so content— I feel so happy! It’s so strange! I’m not anxious— I’m not overthinking! I guess those pills really worked! I think I’m really getting better— I think I’m really going to be happy!
Here’s my hand, please hold it. That way I can say I was touched by an angel.
What did the terrorist say to the 72 virgins?
"Just so you know, 5 inches is REALLY big!"
Orphan: I finally have a father!
God: And who is that?
Orphan: You!
God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me.
Orphan: :l
Hi guys, I have a brain teaser for you! Leave it in the comment section if you figure it out. Here you go!
If you kill yourself (suicide which is technically murder), will you go to Heaven or Hell? Because you murdered yourself, but what if you were a Christian?
That was my brain teaser for you guys! Make sure you leave what you came up with for the answer in the comment section below!! PEACE OUT!!!! :)
Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?
They made the toys.
