When a Muslim dies he gets 72 virgins. It's the same thing with priests except the virgins are children.
If you shit in a church, is it a holy shit?
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
In fright, I saw my faceless soul! Never imagined it could run that fast!
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods, They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go. Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more, ^-^ they filled my life with more Happiness, I believe in the Unicorns and they'll believe in me, I am not a Unicorn although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land but if I could be any creature I would be a Unicorn! :P
Believe in unicorns, and they'll believe in you!
What the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ? One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldnt work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and saviour Jesus Christ. (Ben Shapiro 2020)
I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said God didn’t exist.
In 2018, God said Stephen Hawking didn’t exist. xx 😂😂
When someone says, "Jesus," I say, "Bitch, where?"
The undertaker's famous saying is "Rest In Peace" to all of his opponents, but really they don't rest in peace. The only peace they get is from God.
Guys, there is no need to worry about anti-vaxxers. The more there are, the less there are.
I only believe in 12.5% of the bible. I'm an EIGTHeyist.
Why do Indians marry cows? Because they bathe in milk.
Police: Where do you live? Blonde: With my parents. Police: Where do your parents live? Blonde: With me. Police: Where do you all live? Blonde: Together. Police: Where is your house? Blonde: Next to my neighbor's house. Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Blonde: If I tell you, you won't believe me. Police: Tell me. Blonde: Next to my house.
Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.
I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.
Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.
At first I was skeptical, but the universe has really grown on me.
A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say "Thank God" and to stop the horse, to say "Hallelujah". The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled "Hallelujah" and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said "Thank God".
God
