Jesus will be history when I realize he's behind me.
Belief Jokes
What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?
They believe their own lies.
The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.
You call it Hell. I call it Saunaworld DX.
I burnt down a whole forest and asked myself, "Is this hell?"
They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.
Satan and the devil are alter egos.
To all those who say this is a joke, it isn't. It's a core of humor and magic. It's a part of humor we can keep. Like if you agree.
Why are people mad at me? All I did was tell the truth and put the Bible in the fiction section of the library.
Why do orphans go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they're the ones who made the toys.
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.
Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?
A: 'Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
Men and women are not equal, speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable (sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell?
We're not sexist men; you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, men were created before women. Search it up in the Bible or online.
Two nuns in a bathtub.
One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"
The other nun says, "It sure does."
7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg!
Atheist: You prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?
Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?
Why do people think Jesus is going to come back? He wasn’t nailed to a fucking boomerang!
Me in the middle of the night boiling water.
Me talking to my brother: How do you make holy water?
My brother: How?
Me: You boil the hell out of it.
Like if you love God and Jesus.
