Being jokes
Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"
Orphan: -no response-
How do bitches talk about body positivity when they have no body to even be positive about?
Did you know Princess Diana was on the radio the night she died?
To be honest, she was on the whole dashboard too.
A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
Why can't homeless people be gay?
They don't have a closet to get out of.
me enytime i have homework
What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.
A cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
What is the difference between a feminist and a female prostitute? If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
Will glass coffins be a success? -- Remains to be seen.
Did you hear about the German girl being raped by 10 men? She shouted, "nein, nein," so one of them left.
There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.
I hope my teacher will be ok.
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for being black.
Why can’t Jesus be born in West Virginia?
Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.
Imagine if hitting the iceberg wasn't an accident and it was all just the sailors' fault like this:
Sailor 1: Hey Ron. Sailor 2: Yeah? Sailor 1: You see that iceberg over there? Sailor 2: Yeah. Sailor 1: You know what would be pretty funny?
Why do emo people want to be called scene now? The only thing I've seen from them is their suicide rate climbing.
If I were a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party, and insomnia the little annoying sibling.
What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?
When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)
Yo, forehead is so big...the photo on yo driver's license says "to be continued on the back."
Yo mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."