Being jokes
What would the main character from Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver be named if he was a Mexican?
Travis Spick-le.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call them "daddy."
A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”
Leo be like: "I like men, yes."
Why did the orphan rob a bank?
For he can be wanted.
My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.
Huh, I’m pregnant again. Must be something in the air.
Yeah, your legs.
What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?
They both be flying??
Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?
Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.
Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.
Stop being disrespectful to all those people and their parents. Oh, I forgot, they don't have any parents.
Why did Naruto stop trying to get at Sakura?
Why?
Because it would be useless. :)
What did the cupcake tell its frosting?
I’d be muffin without you.
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
What do gay people call fighting? It can't be beef, so...
Carrots?
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.
The British Society of Psychics' annual convention had to be cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances!
Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
Being an orphan always has an upside; for instance, a bag of chips is family-sized.
Why is it good to be an orphan?
Because every bag of chips is family sized.