Being jokes
An advantage of being an orphan: the teacher can't give you any homework.
What do you call a Pegasus that is being sus?
A megasus!
Did you hear about the German girl being raped by 10 men? She shouted, "nein, nein," so one of them left.
Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.
It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
Caution: Looking at your hairline can cause you to be delirious and have hallucinations.
Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"
Warner Brothers have made a new Superman movie with Superman being black.
This new Superman's nickname is the "Man of Steel" but it's spelled s-t-e-a-l.
What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?
More random keyboard words made into sentences:
This was a joke that was made by someone who had never been to the game before, but who was the first person to make it into a game of game with the intention of being able to play the first person who played it.
What's a benefit of being an orphan?
No one makes yo mama jokes to you.
Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?
A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.
My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.
What do you say to an upset German?
Quit being such a sauerkraut!
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
What's the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can phone home.
A lot of people claim that white privilege does not exist. Well, how the hell do you explain Michael Jackson not being charged for raping children, despite ample evidence?
What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.