Being jokes

We should stop being mean to orphans.

We should be cruel instead.

How do you know all suicide bombers self-identify as being old?

They are all boomers in the end.

What an upside to being an orphan!

There's things called family-size bags.

Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?

She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!

The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.

My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.

It was really heavy on me.

Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.

One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.

Why are orphans good at being a criminal?

Because they're not wanted.

If being sexy was a crime, you can call me......... a law-abiding citizen.

If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.

What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!

Being an orphan is crazy and fuck gay people.

There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.

On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."

So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.

One day, I was just chillin', being a tower. I saw a plane, but it was slowly growing.

Then it hit me.

Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.

Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.

When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."

Being raped until feminists are offended and butthurt.

Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?

Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.

I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.