Being jokes

Little Johnny was in class, and his teacher asked, "How many of you guys are Trump fans?" Since the entire class wanted to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands, well, except Little Johnny. So the teacher asks, "Why are you being different again, Johnny?" So Little Johnny says, "Well, because I'm a Democrat. My mom is a Democrat, and my dad is a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat!" So then the teacher responds with, "Well, what if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Well, Little Johnny says, "A Trump fan!"

Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.

A noose, a knife, a gun, and a razor blade look at a child who committed suicide after being bullied.

Everyone looked at the noose. The noose would say, "What? It wasn't my fault!"

I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.

Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.

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    • Did you know the F in orphan stands for family... Oh wait, haha.

    We should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell their parents... Oh, continue.

    I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.

    There is this girl at school, and she gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.

    Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?

    How's George Floyd doing these days? Being drug-free for a year, he must be feeling pretty swell.

    You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.

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    • There’s this girl who gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.

    Why don’t she stand up for herself?

    The reason why God and Jesus have eternal life and the power, aka (holy spirit) is to control us, take our free will, and our eternal life, which is our heaven. Our time!

    Just to show up, in the nick of time for the second coming in full costume ready to judge us. Them spending a lifetime preparing their big speech, their excuse of them hiding this whole time.

    Lol, Surprise!

    Joke being on them.

    As we all stand there and are there to judge them, doing what they said they were made for.

    Taking our eternal life back from Satan and the Devil and sending them to their home they created themselves!

    HELL!

    P.S. With a little extra punishments!

    Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.

    This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉

    Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.

    They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."

    Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.

    He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.

    "Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"

    Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.

    He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.

    He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"

    They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"

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    • What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?