Behavior jokes

How often do emos go swimming in a lifetime?

Just once.

Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.

My mates threw nuts at the wall, now we call them walnuts.

Hahaha :)

How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.

Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.

I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...

Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...

I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...

When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.

Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?

One day, I was walking down the street, and then I saw something really funny, and then I ran, and I saw a boomer, but I don't really know what I'm talking about, lol.

Why are all fat people bad drivers?

They are all hungover.

I'm too lazy to read gags. http://gestyy.com/eiDOWp

Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!

Family all eating at the table.

Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."

Sister: "Stop the cap."

Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."

Dad laughed.

Stepmom storms out of the room.

What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

How do you make an emo jump? Tell him to go to the roof.

When I see two lovers' names on a tree, I don’t find it cute or funny. I think, why would they be bringing a knife on a date?

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

A special quote: “No, Mackenzie! You're the savage beast!”

What do emos do?

Hang.

Your money, you bully's everything you hate.

Your mama is so ugly.

The Buddhist monks broke their vow of silence.