Behavior jokes
What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.
My mates threw nuts at the wall, now we call them walnuts.
Hahaha :)
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
One day, I was walking down the street, and then I saw something really funny, and then I ran, and I saw a boomer, but I don't really know what I'm talking about, lol.
Why are all fat people bad drivers?
They are all hungover.
Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.
Why aren't dogs good at dancing? Cuz they have 2 left feet!
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."
A boy throws his bag out the window.
The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"
The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.
Yo mama so dumb, she put a watch in a piggybank and said she was saving time.
There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.
I just cut everyone.
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.