Behavior jokes
Some of you need to go to church. I don't want you in hell with me.
Hey Gwen! What is a bean's specialty? Being a jerk!
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
Memes
Me yesterday
"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."
When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...
Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.
How often do emos go swimming in a lifetime?
Just once.
Yo momma is so stupid, she eats cardboard boxes thinking they're chocolate bars.
My mates threw nuts at the wall, now we call them walnuts.
Hahaha :)
I saw a kid crying and asked him where his parents were. He started crying harder.
The ungrateful brat. I see why he is an orphan.
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"
Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?
Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.
Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:
Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.
Her: Really? What?
Me: Sweet-in-low.
Her: Why?
Me: Because you're artificial.
Whoever said men will f**k anything that moves is *dead* wrong.
Tenzin is a sublime charlatan.
- Harib 2019
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!