Behavior jokes
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just sit there and cry in the dark.
Yo mama so stupid, she shoved two AA batteries up her ass and started singing, "I’ve Got The Power!"
Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer, but they only had 2 dollars each.
Christopher got an idea and ran away to the butcher to see if he could get something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys.
"Are you crazy?!" said Tony to Christopher. "We don't have any money!"
"Take it easy now," said Christopher. "I have a plan."
When they finished drinking everything up, Christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth.
The bartender saw what they did and threw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub.
After the 10th pub, Tony said: "I can't do this anymore. I am drunk, and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk."
"How do you think I feel?" said Christopher, exhausted. "I dropped the sausage in the 3rd pub!"
I love punching orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their mum?
Why was the cow afraid?
Because he's a coward!
Online arguments be like:
A retard walks into a bar.
Bartender: Hey, retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard!
Thank you for listening to joke, sincerely - Jokeman87848584
Why is Lucas so weird? I don't know, you tell me.
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
Mooning is very astrological!
My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.
She said help, so I kicked her.
A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin. The bartender said to her, "I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink?" and she said, "Not usually, but I am doing the bishop a favor."
The bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening, and she said, "No, I am with the bishop tonight."
Did you know emos are the highest jumpers? Some of them are still in the air.
Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.
He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.
"Shout out to entity...welcome to hell!"
"Every time I see your icon I vomit lol."
"Get a life... hey I'm violet olivegarden how can I help you if you need me to disc someone ill help..."
Why did the moon go to sleep? Because he was bossy.
Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied?
He couldn’t stand up for himself.
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
Women, you're a marshmallow because you're white, squashy, and everyone sticks their stick inside you.
If you have a teacher who is a Karen, comment what the worst thing that they did to you or your entire class. I know this isn’t a joke, but why not?