Behavior jokes
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
Itโs been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
Is your ass jealous of the shit that came out of your fucking mouth?
I be ready to commit suicide.
But when it comes to jumping out my window, I'm scared ash.
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
My wife accused me of being immature, so I kicked her out of my "boys fort."
Memes
Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.
Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.
I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!
How do emo bands prepare for their shows?
They self-harmonize.
Bored? Punch an orphan! Who are they gonna tell, their parents?
Whatโs the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
What makes a joke a dad joke? When it leaves and doesn't come back.
If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?
What do you call an entitled woman? A Karen.
I hate people that hate life.
Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.
*hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe
Why can you bully orphans?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents? Oh wait, they got no parents.
What do you say after making fun of a disabled person?
"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes."
Johnny, Johnny. Yes, Papa? Eating dick? Yes, Papa.