I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
If you bully a kid, bully an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Foxy the fox was a careless fox. She didn't care about her friend Froggy.
Froggy was a careful frog. One day, Froggy decided to teach the fox a lesson.
Foxy was in her bed sleeping when Froggy made her room an entire mess. She got up, and then her mother berated her for not cleaning her room. From now on, she is a careful fox.
Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?
So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.
If a simp is staring at you, cover your mouth (they'll stop looking).
If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?
Mommy sits on my potty and sings a song about poop.
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
I met an orphan with a dog yesterday. I chose the dog.
Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.
Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"
1, 2, 3, 4, your sis is such a whore,
5, 6, 7, 8, she has cum on her face.
If I tell Stephen about these jokes, what is he gonna do? Chase after me? He better run fast!
Bully: My mom says I'm not allowed to burn trash.
Me: (quiet)
Bully: HEY I'M TALKING TO YOU.
Me: Are you talking to yourself? Because I was listening to music until I heard you.
Once upon a time, a donkey was in the jungle. Suddenly, he found a lion costume and then wore it. Then he walked around the forest, and every animal was scared of him. Then he got to the city, and every human was away from him. He was chasing them when he was chasing his owner. He brayed, and then they figured out that this was not a real lion, and then he told everybody about it. Then he berated his donkey.
What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?
One is a snack cracker.
The other, a crack snacker.
Women, you're a marshmallow because you're white, squashy, and everyone sticks their stick inside you.
I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...
Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...
I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...
When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.
What is the fastest thing in the world?
James Charles when he sees little boys.
How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.
