Behavior jokes
EDP445 is a cupcake. Look it up.
The moment when you throw the nut away and try to eat the shell.
They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.
Which falls faster, a feather or an emo?
A feather, because the emos are always hanging in.
If someone's debating the speed of light and a drunk Russian, the Russian would take speed to grab a falling wallet.
Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:
You) I 1 poopoo
(Them) I 2 poopoo
(You) I 3 poopoo
(Them) I 4 poopoo
(You) I 5 poopoo
(Them) I 6 poopoo
(You) I 7 poopoo
(Them) I 8 poopoo
And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”
Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!
Best not leave hungry kids unattended!
The emo kid said, "I wanna die." But the quiet kid said, "Nah, I'm gonna die myself, bye!"
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
How many Emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They all just sit in the dark and cry.
Science experts say when you get mad, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?
Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Did you hear about that new emo pizza? It cuts itself!
My friend called me a dick earlier. I said, "You are what you eat." He then proceeded to run away from me.
What is a similarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions.
Punch an orphan, what are they gonna do: tell their parents?
My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:
Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"