Which falls faster, a feather or an emo?
A feather, because the emos are always hanging in.
Behavior Jokes
If someone's debating the speed of light and a drunk Russian, the Russian would take speed to grab a falling wallet.
Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:
You) I 1 poopoo
(Them) I 2 poopoo
(You) I 3 poopoo
(Them) I 4 poopoo
(You) I 5 poopoo
(Them) I 6 poopoo
(You) I 7 poopoo
(Them) I 8 poopoo
And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”
Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!
Best not leave hungry kids unattended!
The emo kid said, "I wanna die." But the quiet kid said, "Nah, I'm gonna die myself, bye!"
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
How many Emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They all just sit in the dark and cry.
Science experts say when you get mad, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?
Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Did you hear about that new emo pizza? It cuts itself!
My friend called me a dick earlier. I said, "You are what you eat." He then proceeded to run away from me.
What is a similarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions.
Punch an orphan, what are they gonna do: tell their parents?
My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:
Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
What is a Karen called in Europe?
An American.
Like if you are a simp.
I’m enyaw and I fancy my PE teacher. She is called Kelly Pearce and I go to Beckfoot Oakbank. I always watch her because I am a creep. I live at school under the stairs, but I also try [to] follow her home, and if I'm unsuccessful I look her up on a dodgy website and go on Google maps and look at her door.
