Behavior jokes

One day Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking a cigar. Johnny said, "Can I have a puff?"

Grandpa said, "Can your dick touch your ass?"

Johnny said, "No, then that's your answer."

Later that day, Johnny saw his grandpa drinking a drink. Johnny said, "Can I have a sip?"

Grandpa said the same thing, "Can your dick touch your ass?"

Johnny said, "No, then that's your answer."

Later that night, Johnny was eating some cookies in the kitchen. Grandpa said, "Hi son, can I have a cookie?"

Johnny said, "Can your dick touch your ass?"

Grandpa said, "Yes."

Johnny said, "Good, go fuck yourself!"

Whoever said men will f**k anything that moves is *dead* wrong.

Humans. We are the joke. Retards.

Wanna know why people laugh at you? Because your life is a joke.

Bully: *Bullies kid*

Orphan: Stop!! *Cries*

Bully: What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?? XD

Orphan: :/

You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...

Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.

I be ready to commit suicide.

But when it comes to jumping out my window, I'm scared ash.

Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.

If you’re bored, punch an orphan.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

I love punching orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their mum?

I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.

What would they do? Go to their family?

Like if you meet someone emo.

Bell is so ugly, she acts like a boy.

If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

You're cheap; no one even pays attention.

Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?

"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."

Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?

Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.

If you make jokes about SH, you're not funny, and if you do, I'm gonna assume you're some 12-year-old who wants to be an edge lord. I don't really care if people get pressed.

Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.

So, there was this kid, and he went to a store and said to a person there, "I'm emo." Then the person told the emo, "Why the hell are you here? Shouldn't you be hanging in a tree somewhere?"