Behavior

Behavior jokes

Tiktoker: I will kill anyone who pours milk before cereal.

Depressed kid tiktok reply: *pours milk before cereal, pours cereal then takes a bite* I'll wait.

My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.

Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.

Son: Okay, I'll do it!

5 hours later...

Son: I'm done!

Dad: I lied.

Son: So did I!

One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"

My enemy likes to act like he’s stupid sometimes, and so once he asked me what a sin was, and I responded with, β€œyou.”

Lesson in laziness number 136894236842: don't be too lazy to read large numbers.

When I see two lovers' names on a tree, I don’t find it cute or funny. I think, why would they be bringing a knife on a date?

Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.

What happens when an emo goes to the grocery store? The cashier scans their wrist too.