Behavior jokes
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
Wanna know who can jump the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.
What's the difference between a homo and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out.
Your money, you bully's everything you hate.
What do emos do?
Hang.
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.
Tiktoker: I will kill anyone who pours milk before cereal.
Depressed kid tiktok reply: *pours milk before cereal, pours cereal then takes a bite* I'll wait.
My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.
Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.
Son: Okay, I'll do it!
5 hours later...
Son: I'm done!
Dad: I lied.
Son: So did I!
A special quote: “No, Mackenzie! You're the savage beast!”
What do emos and ninjas both have in common? They both hide and cut things.
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"
My enemy likes to act like he’s stupid sometimes, and so once he asked me what a sin was, and I responded with, “you.”
Lesson in laziness number 136894236842: don't be too lazy to read large numbers.
When I see two lovers' names on a tree, I don’t find it cute or funny. I think, why would they be bringing a knife on a date?
How do you make an emo jump? Tell him to go to the roof.
Why did the emo kid cross the road? To get a box of tissues!