Beat jokes
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis.
Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."
Friends: comments give reason.
Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."
Day later:
Mom: Let me see your TikTok.
Me: Shows her the video.
Mom: calls suicide.
JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.
What does Michael Jackson do with his meat? "Just beat it". His song btw lol.
What did Michael Jackson say to the child sitting on him?
“Just beat it! Just beat it!”
Police: Where do you live? Child: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live? Child: With me.
Police: Where do you all live? Child: Together.
Police: Where is your house? Child: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Child: If I tell you, would you believe me?
Police: Yes. Now tell me. Child: Next to my house.
Police: ... Child: 😊
Police: *Proceeds to beat the life out of the child*
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
What is a terrorist's DJ name?
Osama Spin Laden.
Dropping beats like the Twin Towers.
Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
Hey guys, wish me luck on my game Al-Nassr vs. Raed Al-Raed. I have 604 million followers on Instagram, but we are not gonna be able to beat that. Can we get to 69 followers, please and thankyou?
Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.
Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??
Why didn't Trump beat Biden?
Because he couldn't trump that bitch!
What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?
You can't beat a cheetah!
What's the difference between my dad and my stepdad?
My stepdad beat my ass before he left.
What's a child abuser's favorite song?
"Just Beat It!"
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...
Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...
I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.
It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.
Why do priests play Geometry Dash? Cuz they can beat Demons.
Me: *stabs vampire*
Wife: omg
Me: *beats vampire to death*
Wife: OMG
Me: What?
Wife: You're supposed to give them candy!
Me: Well, that's a sticky situation now, isn't it, Barbara?