Beat jokes
You're so emo, even Billie Eilish can't beat you!
Why do the cheetahs always beat you? Because they beet-ah.
How do you know if a rapper is hungry?
They start dropping BEATS at the dinner table.
Look, an orphan, let's go beat 'em up.
When I go to bed, my mother comes in ten minutes later with a brick and beats me with it.
What did the mic say to the rapper?
"Don’t DROP me, bro!"
What's the difference between depression and a girl?
XXXTentacion can't seem to beat depression.
My friend and I were playing Poker... And my friend also beat me with Jackass.
Ring ring.
Abortion clinic!
Where no fetus can beat us.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
Q: What's the difference between me and cancer?
A: My dad didn't beat cancer...
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
To make some DOUGH while he dropped his beats!
Why does Aaron cry at night? His alcoholic father beats him.
What did the beat say to the rapper?
"You've got me DROPPING like it's HOT!"
What made his beats so bad?
His name.
Ok, so let me tell y'all the lore. Basically, what happened was there's these mfs called Rhys and a guy named Mobrur. Mobrur is a fish basically from Bangladesh and Israel, so he's just a fish because he's Netanyahu's cousin, and Liam is from Australia; he's just a white piece of crap.
Basically, what happened was they knocked up each other because they were drunk and jumping on Netanyahu's beer belly, and it was all just a mess. Rhys is trying to get child support and half property from Fish, but he won't give it because he is nasty and claiming what isn't his, and he said, "No one likes you." So to summarize it, he killed him and is in jail now.
And there he met Mooha and he turned straight, Alhamdulillah! EVERYONE SAY ALHAMDULILLAH! He became straight, then Mooha got knocked up in prison and the guards beat them and they died.
Why do orphans have no bruises?
Because they have no dad to beat them.
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!