Beat jokes

Why don’t rappers ever get lost?

They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.

I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.

Make like a drum and beat it!

What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?

My stepdad did beat cancer.

There's nothing else that can beat up dog.

What's up, dog?

Just my depression!

One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"

I don't beat up midgets.

That would be punching down.

How does Skeletor feel after He-Man beats him up?

Skelesore.

How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?

Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.

When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.

What’s the difference between video games and my dad?

My dad doesn’t beat me.

What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?

"I woke up Chris Breezy."

What did the rapper say when he stubbed his toe?

"Ouch! That's NOT a sick beat!"

God, you’re having a good day?

Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.

You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.

Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."

Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"

Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.

I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!

I caught my wife cheating on me.

I beat my son and grounded him.