Beat jokes
Your nan's gay.
Why did the drum go to bed? It was beat.
"Pootin is a pussy won't even fight in the war that he started!"
"Pootin is a pussy and Ukraine is beating Russia's ass!"
Today is Elder Abuse Awareness Day.
Unfortunately, they're still not giving lessons on how to beat an annoying Alzheimer's patient without leaving a mark.
Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?
Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?
Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
Mom, what happens if you swear at a church?
Well, honey, a tee posing nun with glowing red eyes and nunchucks will beat you.
khi beats his meat to weed- germiah.
What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?
Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.
Yo mama so fat, she broke Usain Bolt's 100 meter speed record by taking ONE STEP!
My dad always used to beat me, but he never beat cancer.
I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.
I thought a few hits would cheer him up!
How does a rapper clean their house?
With a BEAT BRUSH!
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
A man with a drum.
"Well, tell him to beat it!"
You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.
Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀
Just remembering the day when the Jets beat the New York Giants.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap? "Just beat it, just beat it."
What does a wife and a boombox have in common?
They only work when you beat them.
Cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already at stage four!