Beat jokes
What do you do when you're bored?
Beat up an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the concert?
So he could DEFINE his own beats!
My friend and I were playing Poker... And my friend also beat me with Jackass.
Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?
Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap? "Just beat it, just beat it."
Why don't booties make good drummers?
They can't keep a beat without making a FART NOISE.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do when nobody's home?
Beat it.
Do you know what it takes to beat cancer?
Heartbeat.
Little Johnny brought a baseball bat to school.
The teacher asked why he had one. He said, "I need it to beat up the principal!"
When the principal found out what Little Johnny had said, well, let’s just say Little Johnny didn’t need no baseball bat to kill him.
What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?
My stepdad did beat cancer.
What did the rapper say to the microphone?
"You better DROP THE BEAT, or I'll drop YOU!"
Q: What's the difference between me and cancer?
A: My dad didn't beat cancer...
Make like a drum and beat it!
Q: How many cops does it take to put in a light bulb? A: None, they just beat the room for being black. 😂😂😂
What did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We're closed."
Why did England beat Germany in World War Two?
Scissors beat paper.
I saw a guy beat his girlfriend to a pulp after his girlfriend threw a phone in his face. I offered to call an ambulance, but he said he was fine.