What comes up on small oceans? Microwaves.
Beach Jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side. LOL.
What did the girls on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
"Could you move? Your sun is in my son."
Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?
Beach whales.
I was making sandcastles with my Nan, then my mum came in the room and took away the urn.
Why is the beach friendly?
Because it waves!
What kind of star will come out in the daytime?
A starfish! 🐟🐠🐡🦐🦞🦀🦑🐙🦂
Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed!
What do you call a rejected guitarist who now lives on the beach?
A sea minor.
How do you clean the ocean?
With tide!
Wife: Hi babe. Husband: Hey. Wife: Do you wanna? Husband: YES! Wife: Ok, make sure you have a towel to go to the beach. Husband: WHAT? You mean go to the beach? Wife: Yes, what did you think I meant? Husband: Oh, nothing, bye. Wife: Bye, see you there.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd-shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?
It isn't hard.
I took a bite of my lunch. “Is that a sand witch?!”
What did the sea do when it saw the beach?
It waved!
What do sheep wear to the beach?
A baa-kini.
What is the best day to go to the beach?
On Sunday.
When Trump goes to the beach, he doesn't use suntan lotion. He uses Dorito dust, and it stays on for the rest of his life.
I saw a lady in a bikini on the beach, so I walked up to her and said, "LET ME STICK MY DICK UP YOUR BIG ASS!"