Bathroom jokes
Little Johnny walked into the bathroom while his dad was taking a dump. As soon as Little Johnny walked in, his dad let out a big FART! Little Johnny said, “WHAT WAS THAT?” His dad said, “That was the sound of the north wind.” The next day his teacher asked the class, “What’s the direction of the north wind?” Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said, “TEACH IT’S MY DADDY’S BOOTY!”
Dylan is so stinking when he goes for a poo poo! 😭🤣🤣
You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?
You're-a-peein'. European.
My wife wanted a present that could go from zero to 80 very quickly.
So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.
Why did Helen Keller walk in on someone in the bathroom?
Because she didn’t know it was the bathroom.
What bathroom does a trumpet go to?
The brass room...
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!
Yo mama so ugly, she went to the bathroom and scared the sh*t out of the toilet.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the street? Because it got stuck in a crack :)
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.
So I was at home, and I went to take a shower, and I accidentally walked in on my brother having sex with some girl. So I left. A couple minutes later, I needed my headphones to listen to music, so I asked my mom where she was. She told me she was in the shower. Our house only has one bathroom. Sweet home Alabama.
What do you get when you cross a priest with a toilet?
Holy shit.
HOLY CRAP!!!
Crap with holes in it.
Get it? HOLE - Y?
A girl and a boy were on a date. The boy kept farting. The girl asked, "What is wrong?!?". The boy replied, "Explosive diarrhea.". The girl said, "Ew".
The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. The center of the explosion, the bathroom.
There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.
Did you know toilets, while you're at work, eat your toilet paper?
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
What kind of shit does a ghost take every time? A spooky dookie!
One day, a father was showering, and his daughter ran into the bathroom while he was getting out and drying off.
The daughter curiously pointed to her father's penis and asked, "Daddy, when am I going to get one of those!?"
The father replied quickly, "In about 15 minutes, when your mother leaves for work."
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.